So here’s something different from what I usually do. Think of it as a creative writing experience or something I don’t know. Basically I have a lot of anxiety with a side of a lot of depression and I was told “maybe you should write about it” by family members. So here I am telling a story about anxiety and all that. Maybe it’ll be funny, maybe stupid, maybe both, I’m just going to go for it because why not!? Of course I won’t go into specifics so people can track me down and be angry and throw rotten eggs at me over this. So yeah no specifics, here’s today’s story (might be a regular thing from now on I don’t know).
THE JOB INTERVIEW (PART 1)
First of all, the GIF above is Sato from Welcome to the NHK (Favorite anime) going in to apply for a job and then freaking out and talking about his bike. Seemed relevant and relatable. Next, before I begin I say part 1 because I might make this a continuous thing talking about Job Interviews but this interview is not the first interview I had, I’ve had interviews before. Basically some weird stuff happened and it has to do with an interview I got done with today.
I’m honestly trying to get better at talking to people but it feels like I haven’t had an actual human interaction in two months which isn’t too far from the truth. I’ve talked to family and texted friends and that’s pretty much my social life. I kind of feel like a shut in COUGH COUGH like Sato from Welcome to the NHK COUGH COUGH. Anyway I’ve been writing on another site as well as writing stories in my spare time that maybe I can publish one day, and I put in a job application a little while back and never got called. Now yesterday I put in two job applications, yeah that’s right I’m moving up in the world with two whole job applications. That’s the other thing I’ve been doing every single day, looking up jobs and panicking at the sight of having to be kind and communicate with customers. I have done this before, I’ve worked retail and I didn’t like it and now it’s pretty much all I can get. Most of the jobs I want require experience in that job which bothers me. It’s even jobs that require the degree I have, they require past experience in that job which makes me wonder how exactly I get experience doing that job if I don’t get hired. I mean I think I’ll be okay despite dreading everything since I am taking baby steps with writing and putting in job applications.
Okay I’ll just get to today. This morning I woke up, and went straight to my computer and decided to watch Katanagatari so I’ll have something to write about. So far it’s not bad but I do have some complaints but I’ll talk about that later in a review probably. Anyway I put my phone on my bed and didn’t want to look at it because I knew I would get called and it was freaking me out, I also had the phone on silent because I figured I would let it go to voice mail if I actually did get called then return the call later. Well I kept glancing at it, seeing the sun reflecting off the screen hitting me in the eye convincing me the screen was lighting up. Then after paying more attention to the anime instead of my phone I turned and saw the phone lit up so I jumped up grabbed it and stared at it. My stomach started hurting and I was dreading this normal task of answering the phone and getting an interview. I swiped my hand and answered, which the person was nice, I talked with a clear voice although I shook at one point and just used common human interaction technique with saying “hello” “how are you?” “I’m okay how are you?” That’s how a lot of my interactions go. Anyway the call ended after establishing a time for the interview which was today and that made me panic a bit but I thought I can do this and even if I don’t I’ll get the next one yeah!
So after eating lunch and finishing the episode I started of Katanagatari, I kind of just listened to music and tried to calm down…for three hours that’s basically what I did. Actually that’s a lie I also shaved to look a little more decent and took a shower. So after the wait with a knot in my stomach stressing out about saying the wrong things or not even saying anything which to quote The Walking Dead “Not making a decision is a BIIIG decision!” or something like that. My mind works in quotes and references to movies, anime, video games, and TV series and I apologize. I went to the store and asked for the manager as I was told on the phone and then I waited, awkwardly, standing in the front not sure where else to really go. This one guy who was working asked me if I needed help and I just answered as friendly as I could with “No I’m waiting for this person” which he just replied “oh they called her earlier alright cool” which I have to say, that was the nicest person there. I only really interacted with this guy and the manager and both were super nice, okay there was one more person AHEM this was kind of weird but again I was trying to act like a normal person who doesn’t freak out about simple human things.
A little kid came up to me and said “hi!” and I was trying to avoid eye contact then finally said hi back, waved, and cracked a smile, then looked away kind of just ignoring the kid. The kid then just started talking asking me “can I ask you something?” so I was like sure and just go “Yeah sure what’s up?” which he smiled a big smile and said “what’s up?” and stuck his hand out so I high fived him, then the kid came up asking if he could have a hug and was trying to hug me and I tensed up and just go “no don’t do that!” and push the kid away, which I have to say there are two things, one I’m not a hugger and just don’t like being touched besides hand shakes and high fives, and two, what a fearless kid just trying to hug a stranger, kind of weird too. I mean I was always told as a kid not to go near strangers because you know weird people are out there so it was just kind of weird. The kid said sorry when I pushed him away where I was just like “it’s okay just don’t do that” and I kind of laughed. His mom the whole time was trying to get him to stay by her side which I completely understand, just such a weird moment, the kid waved at me again and I just waved back and smiled then the mom walked away with her kid by me saying “sorry” and laughing it off which I just said “it’s okay!” The kid wasn’t bad but just talking to a random stranger like that, I mean good on him for being friendly when I try to avoid people like the plague. Whatever, it was just kind of a random thing to have happen when waiting on an interview.
So after waiting for about twenty minutes with an awkward exchange with a kid and just wishing I wasn’t there, the manager finally came by. I have to say people are weird, I don’t get people. I walk into the office shake the manager’s hand, the usual but I have to say I spaced when asked questions and I mean completely spaced. One question I responded with “I don’t actually know” and there was a moment of silence and the manager just went on with the next question. I don’t want to say specific questions because I don’t know if the manager could pinpoint specific questions and find me and then peg me with rotten eggs. I don’t know. I will say one question though because it really caught me off guard: “What are five words that co workers would use to describe you?” which I can only think of one, someone called me calm, like I always seemed calm even in crazy situations. Which is ironic because I am constantly freaking out on the inside but that was a true answer. I also said “friendly” to think of a bs word but I spaced completely and it was silent, weird, and awkward. In the silence, she spoke out asking if I would describe myself as “dependable” which I mentally face-palmed because that is a word I’ve heard people describe me as. I’m not trying to brag, people have actually said that so I could have gone with that, I mean I don’t get a lot of compliments but I mean I am dependable because I usually have nothing better to do!
To end the misery of this story, I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the job, the manager told me she would call me back if I get the job but she has to interview others and then come to a decision, usually means I didn’t get the job at least in my experience. The one vibe I have about this job is it reminded me of when I applied to another retail position, basically the manager didn’t know there was an interview and I had to wait a little while. I didn’t mind waiting but it was really a similar experience. Just strange day, right now I’m probably going to watch more anime or play a game to try to wash out the memories. I’ll admit I’m pretty hard on myself but I really do wish I was better and I’m trying to get better but I hate dealing with people which is a reason I want to be a writer which I know there will still be times I have to be around people I can’t avoid it just yeah. Funny thing is I looked up “jobs for people with anxiety” and Writer was one of the top answers and I just rolled my eyes and said “of course!” in the voice of M Bison from the Street Fighter movie. So to review the situation I would rate it a 7/10 IGN score too many people. Okay I’ve been in worse situations, I will probably tell my worst interview story because my God I have one that I still just hate thinking about but it is kind of funny. Again though, that guy at the front that asked me who I was looking for was pretty great, he called for the manager about three times where he was genuinely trying to help me out then leaving the store, I ran into him and he asked me if I met with her which I just said “oh yeah I did thanks!” and that was that. I was trying to actually genuinely thank him because he was actually trying to help. Real customer service there! I don’t even know, I hate job interviews, I actually miss some of my other jobs because it was so simple. One of the jobs I had in the past, the interviewer literally asked me one question then just gave me the job, it was great! Alright I guess that’s it.
I hope you enjoyed the dumb ramblings of me when I don’t really feel like doing a review today. I don’t know, if enough people like it I’ll consider making it a normal thing. Although I said part 1 this might be the only story I do at this point. I’m a little embarrassed of it but I’ll post it anyway YOLO am I right? I hate myself for saying that. Okay well yeah I’ll post this today and will possibly post more “anxiety stories” in the near future who knows what the future holds? Or something along those lines. Well thanks for reading this big ol mess, and I’ll post again later hopefully sooner rather than later. I do want to review Katanagatari, I know I keep mentioning it but I’m trying to get through it to review it I just have issues with the length, spoilers that probably will be a complaint of mine in the future review. I’m also thinking about revisiting some anime series and actually reviewing them here. I know I talked about certain anime series where it was based on past screenings so maybe I can have a more in depth review, like do Welcome to the NHK. I mean when I “reviewed” that earlier I hadn’t seen the show in about 3 years (I think). Anyway I’m done right now so again thanks so much for reading all the shenanigans of me trying to be a regular person and encountering weird things that may not be weird to others. I don’t know dude. Thanks for reading, goodbye for now!