So I decided to write something since I’m not feeling too good, mentally and physically. Today was my day off but I had kind of a bad day and had a panic attack after all my problems sort of mixed together to fuse into a mega Godzilla thing to rise up and make me go berserk. I was mad about a lot of different things that resorted in me flipping out and raging. I’m still sort of getting over the melt down I had and maybe I’ll go into further detail later in this blog, but for now I have some things to discuss. Sorry for making this first paragraph about myself, I’ve just not been too good but I’ll stop talking about me for some time. Anyway, I’ve seen a few anime series that I wanted to review the first few episodes but never really got around to it. I think this is the season where I’ve watched the most anime I think I’ve ever watched in one season. Gamers! is still probably my favorite, but another one caught my attention and is close to being my favorite one from this anime season. That anime is Classroom of the Elite.
CLASSROOM OF THE ELITE THOUGHTS SO FAR
Well I won’t go too much into detail about this one because honestly it’s not as fresh in my head as the other series were when I reviewed those. It’s good though. I was only watching shows I thought looked interesting and I didn’t see anything about this one. The only reason I found it was because I was talking about good series with a buddy of mine and he recommended this one. Let me tell you, I started off this show feeling like I was going to hate everyone. I mean the title made me a bit nervous where I was thinking everyone was gonna be a bunch of elitest assholes (pardon my language). Well there are some, but so far after seeing the newest episode (9) I like a lot of the characters. There are the annoying ones, but this show has a GREAT protagonist, I mean the main character is awesome and different from a lot of other series protagonists. I’ll go a little more into his character in the spoiler section of this. There are still a few spoilers I want to discuss, but for now I want people to go watch this knowing little to nothing as I did. I’ll try to explain the premise as best as I can, but trust me it gets better and better as it goes. I mean it gets really dark too! That’s about all I really knew about it. There is fanservice but it’s not really too distracting, I mean the show gets really serious so the fanservice doesn’t ruin those moments.
Story: I’m going on and on about how great the show is but not really saying much story stuff. I guess I should to possibly get someone to go and see this awesome show. So I’m gonna try my hardest to not spoil anything of the first episode, but it might happen. It will only be for the first episode since that’s when the story sets in, the ending of episode 1. The show opens with the main character on a bus and a guy refusing to give up his seat for an old lady when this girl is begging him to. Someone finally gives up their seat, but the main character just watches and never budges, then looks at this girl who didn’t try to do anything either. It sets up the mood although I hated these characters here, but I’m not really sure how I would act in that situation since I don’t take the bus or train often. I hope I would give up my seat but I don’t know. Anyway I start off hating these characters. So then the best part happens which hooks me into the show. Again I would say to not read this and just watch the show, but maybe this will give you the push to go watch it. If you want to know nothing then yeah stop reading. So introductions happen as they normally do in high school anime but we get the perfect intro to the main character. He stands up and straight up says he’s not good at anything and is saying “uh” and stuttering a lot while being completely dead pan, then ending it with “I’ll try my hardest to make friends” in the most monotone way. Absolutely perfect. He’s the reason I keep watching, although the premise is kind of interesting as it keeps going but I want to know more about certain plot points which I’ll get into in spoiler talk. There’s so much I want to know that I would hate if the series ends before we get to that point. So then we have the characters in this class which is by the way the lowest class being Class D. They get paid money, I think it’s 100,000 yen to spend with as they wish. Which everyone goes kind of crazy at that which I’ll stop talking here although it’s a little obvious what happens next with a plot twist and so forth.
Alright so yeah characters are pretty great, mainly the two main characters, the two people that did nothing on the bus. I was surprised how much I’m enjoying the show, although one episode was terrible. I’ll say that, it’s a filler and it is awful so brace yourself for that if you watch it. Okay Spoiler talk:
I’m gonna try to keep this short but here’s spoilers on the first 9 episodes. I probably won’t go into episode 9 or other stuff. It’s mainly one big spoiler, okay maybe 3. So first of all we got the main character’s background. They keep making me so interested and had one ending to an episode that showed a glimpse of his story and holy crap I need to know more! Basically they show him with a bunch of kids as test subjects (what I think at least) where it reminded me of Kiznaiver with the kids lined up dressed in hospital gowns. So I don’t know what his story is there. I mean he doesn’t want to stick out and is super smart (which I love) he wants to help people but not stick out doing so. It’s so good! I love how he is constantly helping people and not wanting to stick out but certain things do stick out. He’s pretty athletic but will lose on purpose and of course he got a perfect 50 percent on his test so he would be admitted to Class D. He’s such an interesting character honestly, because he hardly reacts to anything but is a good person just trying to not stick out at all. Which by the way, the plot twist I did call it before it happened. You already know this since reading spoilers or you just don’t care about spoilers. Well the plot twist is they spend their money with the promise that they’ll get paid every month. Well they get paid based on performance in class which I like the concept. So yeah they get paid 0 for the second month because people were cutting class and sleeping in class so the points were all totaled together. So that’s an interesting element for the story. Then we have the dark stuff. First there’s a girl who I knew was up to something. She’s super cheery but turns out to have split personality or something and black mails the main dude into not ever talking about it but making it look like he’s assaulting her. Then later a girl does get assaulted but the main character saves her. I mean it gets dark and creepy with stuff like that but then it kind of goes away. Sometimes it feels random but in a sense it does go with the theme of the show since it is more serious than I expected. I mean the show is interesting and I love the characters, and I’m interested in the story and everything, just sometimes it’s slow getting to the point and the parts that keep me watching are actually kind of rare. I mean they hint at the main character’s past with how smart he is but don’t really go into it til the last minute of an episode. I need more man! I mean that filler episode bugged me so much, since it was just these guys trying to peep on the girls and that was really it? It was terrible and I think the last minute was the only reason for watching it because it shows the relationship between the two main characters strengthen a bit. Okay well I think I’m done here, just going on about how good the series is but of course there’s those few things I don’t like which I just mentioned a bit there. Okay.
So I’ve been watching this one for the last few weeks but more recently I finally watched the End of Evangelion movie so let’s talk about that because wow.
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION THE END OF EVANGELION THOUGHTS (SPOILERS)
It should go without saying since this is the end of evangelion that there would be spoilers but still you have been warned. I mean this is an old one so shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. I didn’t really know anything about the ending but I heard it was pretty crazy with things that don’t make too much sense and just mind F***ing stuff. Which yeah pretty much. I can’t talk about this without spoiling so I’ll just go into it, don’t read if you intend to watch this and haven’t. Alright this one was a doozy. I thought the third rebuild movie was crazy which it was but this one, things just happen. Everything happens at once and I felt okay at the end. Honestly I thought I would feel empty but I was like whatever by the end of it. I think after seeing everything else Evangelion, I’m almost numb to all of it where I know what to expect with just craziness. So first thing we see which caught me off guard although I think someone did tell me about this, we get Shinji jerking it to Asuka’s unconscious body. Yeah that happens. I honestly thought he was doing something worse with how it showed him looking at her body half naked laying there then it goes to the door and sounds of him grunting are heard. It was him jerking off though which still screwed up which he even says he’s so F***ed up. Just woah man. It’s a little slow going after that, as I felt but then everything happens. We have soldiers blasting in, new Evas show up where Asuka goes straight from her coma to fighting them in her Eva which is a pretty crazy fight, and it’s brutal. She dies and her eva is devoured and you see her arm split right down in half so that was insane. Then Shinji is just fetal position in his room while people are getting blown away. He almost gets killed but then Misato saves him. Which this hit me the hardest. I knew about Asuka dying and the blonde lady dying, but I didn’t know about her dying. She gets shot, then she kisses him full on “grown up kiss” and gives him the cross necklace she kept, as he’s in the elevator and the place blows up. Shinji gets to his Eva but sits around until Asuka gets destroyed. Then all the crazy stuff happens which it was already crazy but I wasn’t ready for this. Everyone straight up turns into soup, and straight up Shinji is the only one left alive while this giant Rei is looking at him. I mean I completely understand his reaction screaming at everything because it’s pretty horrifying. I love the use of classical music though as it’s all going down. Then we get him wanting to be alone so he’s alone now in the world but then he wants to experience things with people, so he’s told he can recreate life and do whatever he wants. Which he does, he brings back Asuka and tries to strangle her but then she brushes her hand by his face and he stops trying to kill her. Which then she says “disgusting.” I’m not going to try and understand everything since a lot of it went over my head. I get why Asuka is alive because Shinji brought her back in a wish type thing not wanting to be alone. Plus they were really the only humans in the Evas that were pretty innocent. I mean there was the classmate but I can’t remember if he died or was still living, I’m not sure. I mean they were all screwed up but I think Shinji and Asuka were the most innocent forced into it where everyone like Misato and others chose to do things in NERV. Yeah NERV was more screwy than them and Shinji’s dad was pretty bad. I’ll just stop talking now but overall I actually did like the ending. It was better than the congratulations stuff which is still just humorous to me. So yeah that’s about all I have to say about it. I’m officially caught up on everything in that show I think. I mean of course I haven’t read the manga but yeah I did it. I’m caught up and I actually like the show more.
MINI RANT STUFF (I’m just gonna rant a little here sorry for some depression talk here)
I’m getting tired as I write this so I’ll probably stop soon with the writing and such. I just want to rant a little about my day since I started the whole post with that. I do understand most people have it worse than me and I should be thankful for what I do have in life, but there’s always been something wrong and I never understood what. I mean I think I have something mentally wrong but never got it diagnosed because honestly I don’t really want to know. I mean it might be good to be able to confidentially say I’m depressed as doctors have said, but I’m already confident I have anxiety and depression. I mean this is going to go kind of deep into things but whatever. So as you may or may not know, I have a job now which I’m glad I’m making money but I HATE the job. I think it’s terrible and I want to quit, mainly because I wasn’t really trained and most of the time I’m alone there. Well tomorrow I’m convinced I’m going to have to train someone and so all day I’ve been thinking: “I’ve only been here a month or even less than that, I should not have to train people.” I get it’s only me and two other people working in that department but when I first showed up to this job, my schedule was paired up with the manager so he would be there everytime I worked. I mean that’s good except he kept getting called to different places so he would send us to someone else. I hate the idea that I will have to train someone because I have not been told everything and I hate it. I really should quit tomorrow but I would feel like a dick doing that. I need another job I just don’t know what to do. Also just to say why I’m convinced I might have to train someone. I looked on the schedule and saw someone’s name put down on there where they’re gonna be there when I work and no one else will be there so yeah it’s just me and this possibly new person. I don’t know how new she is but I’m so stressed out. I had to train someone yesterday for thirty minutes and I hated it because I just wanted to do my job and go home, but I had to show this guy certain things to do except I was terrible at it. I’m not a teacher at all. So today I’ve just been so stressed out about tomorrow and I rather not go especially since early in the morning. I’m so sick to my stomach about all this. So today what happened, was I flipped out because my brother has been just constantly talking about himself and how great he is and I flipped out because it was constant. Just constantly about how he does the right thing and blah blah blah. So I flipped out, punched a wall, then (I swear) accidentally threw my phone. I think I straight up blacked out in anger and threw it because I don’t remember doing it and I panicked. It still works but I’ve had this phone for years and never a single scratch until today I cracked the screen pretty badly. Then I did something I regret. Well sort of, it’s for different reasons. So sorry but I will be talking about suicidal stuff just a warning. Okay so I tried to slit my throat and I usually wouldn’t talk about this kind of stuff because I get I have a problem and I don’t want to promote stuff like this because it’s bad. Well I only managed to cut my neck but not too much damage. I bled but it’s okay now, I am more stressed out about tomorrow because it’s going to be visible and I just don’t want someone worrying about it. Now I’m thinking they might send me home, which I might just quit right then and there. I mean I want to quit but I’m stressed out about not being able to get a job later because just outright quitting would be on record. Funny, I actually searched up quitting at this place and there were like 5 people who said they quit after a month. So I’m not the only one. It’s between the job and me just being depressed because I’m not where I wanted to be, although I would probably be in the same position if I had a good job. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not expecting help by mentioning all this, it’s just me ranting about my problems to kind of cope with things. I’m so sick of everything but I’ll stop talking for now. If you actually read all this I appreciate it and also sorry for complaining so much. I just don’t know what to do but alright that’s it for now and maybe for a little while again. I’ll be back a little later because I do have some stuff to talk about. Thanks again for reading, I really do appreciate it, goodbye for now.